Team Retreat

by TCCNN Reporter Jordan Cobb

Updated on 12/12/17 at 12:37 PM

In what can only be described as a complete 180 from last week, the TCC Fightin’ Reformers are on top of the world, they are ebullient. Riding a two-game win streak and fresh off a complete destruction of REZ Faith, the team scheduled a last-minute and poorly planned getaway to the North Carolina mountains. The team was seen leaving FBC Taylors in a chartered van that was engulfed in a throng of fans that numbered in the tens. Randy Pifer was kind enough to put a TCCNN reporter through on speaker phone for an interview with the team.

When asked for a post-game debrief, one player remarked, “We feel good right now. Ben Davis’ mom said we could use her step-cousin’s home in the mountains for the evening, so we’re looking forward to a quick getaway together.” Another player shared his delusions dreams, “We feel now that we have all-time greatness potential. There are quiet whispers among the twelve or so people that show up to our games that we can be one of the greatest church league teams to ever grace the gyms of the Upstate.” When pressed with the fact that the team already has a loss on the season, one player added, “We are filing an official appeal to the league office to have that loss wiped from our record. The other team had a giant playing for it, and that seemed unfair to us. This is basketball, not Lord of the Rings.” Sources confirmed, however, that the player in question is no taller than 6’7” in height, a height that is reportedly very common for people who play basketball.

During the van ride, the team unanimously voted to give coach LaPierre a raise. He will no longer have to pay for his post-game meals at Waffle House. “Considering where we’re at right now as far as the quality of our team, and the talk of greatness among our fans, we feel that it is well within reason to splurge a little on dinner,” said Patrick Gomer, when asked about the team’s plans for the evening. “We usually go to Waffle House, but we’re going to eat at Golden Corral tonight,” he added. “I’ll pay for the entire team’s meal. I’ll put it on my credit card,” said Jordan Cobb. Sources confirmed that Cobb later asked that Dave Ramsey not be told about the credit card.