Reformers Fightin' a New Foe, and it is Not on the Court

by TCC Investigative Reporter Randy Pifer
Updated 11/29/15 at 6:15PM

The TCC Fightin' Reformers have started their inaugural season 0-2.  There are many excuses they are giving to explain this.  Their inability to hit open shots, especially layups, the lack of knowledge on the defensive end to stop the other teams from getting wide open shots, and, quite possibly the most important factor, the absence of key players.   Tim Smerdon has been missing due to injury and Jonathan Chasteen has been absent due to family illness.  These are both legitimate excuses and wouldn't even draw so much as an eyebrow raise from the spectating public.  But then we are left with the curious case of Donny Mathis.  Mathis has not been present at either of the first two games.  He was projected as a starter in the preseason and was being counted on to be the sharpshooting deep threat necessary to stretch the floor.  This would allow Hugh Carson room to get his shots off in the middle of the floor.  As you can imagine this has thrown all kinds of monkey wrenches into the plan and has TCC's offense sputtering.

As the TCCNN began to dig deeper into this matter a scary truth reared its ugly head.  There is a traitor in our midst.  The entire 2015-16 TCC Men's 30 and Over Basketball team has been put on alert.  More specifically, an AMBER Alert.  Amber Mathis has schemed and connived her way into the middle of this team and started to Yoko Ono them one by one.  Cleverly she started with her husband, but this reporter fears she won't stop there!  It came to the attention of the news room that the excuse that Mathis gave for missing last game was "dinner with his wife for his birthday".  Upon further investigating it was learned that his birthday was not until the next day!

This is, understandably, upsetting to say the least.  Team GM Randy Pifer could not be reached for comment and calls to his office were not returned immediately.  Jonathan Chasteen did remark on Sunday morning that he was "aware of what she [was] doing" and even went so far as to suggest that she may be behind Tim Smerdon's injury as well.  Smerdon only shrugged his shoulders as he limped by press row when he was asked to comment.  Carson vowed to bring the team back together and that we "would see an entirely different outcome on Monday night".

TCC continues their season Monday Night at 8:30 PM against Suber Road Baptist Church.  The game will be played at Taylors First Baptist Church, Court #1.  The Reformers are hoping for some fan support as they try to break out of their slump and break the AMBER Curse.