CGBC Scores Season High 48 Points: Loses by 50

by CGBCNN Reporter Randy Pifer
Updated at 10:45 pm on 9/10/13

The Fightin' Reformers jumped out to a quick two nothing lead when Stephen Donovan skillfully sliced amongst the trees for a layup. That was the last time they led.  The Warriors, who played last year as Evangelistic Temple, ran away from CGBC and handed them their worst defeat in franchise history.  CGBC's record against this time falls to 0-3.  In 2012 Evangelistic Temple manhandled The Reformers in their season opener and then edged them on Fan Appreciation Night.  This team is completely different, however.  Gone are hall-of-famers Jon Goforth, Ben Skaug, Benji Hutson and Aaron Cline.  All that remains is a team that is searching for its identity, and talent.

Without their three best players, Josh Harbert, Michael Moon, and Matt Garren, it was really no contest from the tip.  "What a disappointment this season is turning out to be" said Lane Hatcher, who has yet to return to his former high school glory.  Iron-man Donny Mathis, fighting through pain, was able to get some open shots, but time after time was denied by the cruel rim.  Thomas Richardson's gritty play was rewarded with the play of the game when he chased down their point guard and rejected his layup attempt in LeBron James fashion.  That is not an accurate description of what happened at all, but since their is no video evidence you will have to believe what this reporter is writing as truth.  Ah, the Power of the Press!

Right before halftime, Richardson was involved in the most gruesome injury in CGBC history.  The blood that poured from his body was gut wrenching.  "It reminded me of the Kevin Ware's injury" said John Miller as the rest of the team took a knee as the halftime whistle blew.  As Richardson's shoe was removed, his toenail came with it.  A torn toenail was the diagnosis and his status is in doubt for the rest of the season.

The statistician was so embarrassed during the game that they decided to not keep stats and could only guess to the amount of points scored by any player.  "Does it really matter?" they asked.  Will Brown, making his first start of the year was able to get some shots to fall in the second half, but it was much too little too late.  "Miller led the team in scoring for the first time this season, we think" said GM Randy Pifer.

There are more games in the season, but like the old saying goes "if a tree falls in the woods does it make any sound?"  So too, "if CGBC loses with no one there to witness, did it really happen?"  Fan support has been pitiful and the team is playing accordingly.  Fan attendance total in three games is five.  FIVE!  Paul and Jordan Lazar, and Rachel, Levi and Samantha Hatcher.  If the CGBCNN is able to personally name every fan that has attended a game there is a problem.  The GM is encouraging all fans to come out and support the team as there are unfortunately seven games left in the season!